i need to talk.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
fuck.
for the longest period of time, i had never felt so dissapointed. the last time was regarding the air-stewardess and now.. it just hit me so hard. THE NEW PAPER AINT USING MY BEST SHOT FOR MY CENTRESPREAD. this makes me wanna cry right now. i could get by it the past few days because i thought the photos of R1 was great but the swimwear is better. i heard the fucking news today and i was goddamn dissapointed. its not about win or lose situation but about the chance and exposure. my bloody second outfit was ____. thank yous for the sponsors once again but it just dont compliment me at all, as far as i am concerned! i just cant helped it but just by thinking the date of release, the fear is there. i dont know if on that day, i would rush to flip through the papers or just wait and wait till someone urged me to read it. someone from above will love me, and look out for me.
went for the MTV party last night. was so crowded and the food was ____. had quite a few drinks and saw some familar face. i still cant differentiate between May and Choy. i know there's a difference but i just cant. hahaha. it was a asian night so quite a number dressed in cheongsam, didnt manage to snap any~ mingled with the writer. lets be honest, that maxim shoot was bad. from the lighting to the bikini and the makeup. so hopefully this time round, it'll be better. we might be shooting in a spa. Horrray.. outdoor shoot means food and privileges. :)) i always preferred outdoor. and maybe some nice news from OTO next week i hope.
doing some publicity today. it was fun yet tiring due to the late night which i am not supposed to do so but its worth it for 'Break-up'. i totally love that. right, i am short so i need to get a 7inch heels and start walking with them and who the hell will walked with a 10inch down the street?! i always thought my 4inch was fine but now, its a big NO. i mean those heels really have to get it from those shops that only drag queens would be interested. i saw the outfits for the 'fashion show'. it was awesome. somehow like those racer outfit. will be in white boots and its customize. i go woah when i saw the drawing but before looking all geared up and glam, i'll have to grit my teeth for all the tough rehearsals with some male models and workouts and stop putting sins into my mouth. i wanna slipped into a size 0. i wished.
finally two weeks' over. from austria to SG and to KL. again i wished we have the time to dine. our schedule's always clashed. i wished we were less busy.